There are many times in ones' life where you face a crossroads, a decision on how or who you want to be in the world.
For awhile now I've been the type of person that has tried to live looking at everyone's own perspective when it comes to life. More often than not, just to make sure that I understand where someone is coming from; whether I agree with them or not. I feel this is important to me as I have friends and family from different political and religious backgrounds. I may or may not agree with everyone (I rarely do), but understanding and accepting is what I strive to do.
There's one thing I've struggled with though (well... way more than one, but for the sake of this... you get the idea) is peoples' everyday complaints. It bothers me when people complain about things when there are tons of people that would love to have what the complainers have. They'd love to have those things, because they have it worse. I ranted on Facebook a few weeks ago about people bitching about the crappy weather. The complaining came on a morning after the tornado in Oklahoma hit the school and some poor bastard jumped in front of the light rail train in SoDo. I was livid to hear people complain about a few drizzles when parents were digging the bodies of their dead children from the school rubble. I was pissed to hear people complain that it was cold when someone had decided it was better to jump in front of a train than to go on. On top of that, a couple of my students were traumatized by seeing that man get hit by the train.
It's been really hard for me to see or hear people complain about the things in their life. Hearing people bitching about work, how their car broke down, if their team lost, they stubbed their toe, whatever it's been has been driving me crazy. The hardest thing though has been hearing people complain about their kids. Why? Christi has had two miscarriages in the past 6 months. The last one literally almost killed her two weeks ago (if you want details, you can always call/text/email me). It's made me so unbelievably angry, resentful, and bitter towards these people.
However...
I'm figuring out that it's hard for people to compare their life problems. The crappy weather might be the worst thing that's going on in a person's life at that moment. Therefore, it seems to them like the worst thing ever, because there's nothing for them to personally compare it to. The parents that were searching for their kids probably had a little more to be upset about, but the crappy weather person has no way of understanding how parent feels in that moment (unless they've gone through the exact same thing). I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm trying to change...
... but it's difficult.
I'm trying not to qualify (Eh, Shep?) all of our problems and hardships in life. I'm trying to know and understand that whatever issues someone is going though sucks. It sucks for them period.
I'm not assuming that anyone is actually reading this. However, if anything sounds familiar to you in the section about that you may have complained about, assume it probably was you that pissed me off and it is you I'm referring to. Understand though that while I wanted to take a shit on your pillow and/or kick your face in, I still love you. It's just very difficult to be your friend or family right now under these circumstances. Please forgive me for any sarcasm, smart ass comments, hurtful things I've said, or outright ignoring you. It's going to take some time to "heal" and change, but I'm working on it. I'm working on getting on that new path. It's running parallel to the path I'm on, and it's uphill right now, but I'm sure once I get to the top of that hill, it'll be easy to coast the rest of way.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
My Ya Ya
Yesterday my family buried Phillip Lee, my grandpa, my "Ya Ya".
I've come to understand that death is a part of life. The news of Ya Ya's passing last week brought back a lot of the emotions I had when I lost my other grandpa. However, it was a bit different. My tears weren't so much for my loss. The tears were for my family. My thoughts of sadness and worry immediately went to my grandma, my aunts and uncle, but they mostly went to my cousins, sister and dad.
I've never experienced the loss of a parent. I hope to not feel that for a very long time. I couldn't begin to imagine the feeling of responsibility, loss, and pain that my dad has been going through. I could tell that he was hurting, but had to take care of all the business first. I hope in time he's able to explore those feelings fully, remember his father and start the healing process.
It's been around 20 years since the last time I lost a grandpa. It gets better, but that pain never completely goes away. I couldn't help but feel my cousins' pain through them, knowing that no words could express the sadness they were feeling. I've been there. I know what it's like.
To Jessica, Alissa, and Matt,
Your Ya Ya loved you so very much. The pain that you're feeling will get better in time. It will never ever go away, but you never want that feeling to go away, because that feeling is Ya Ya still living on in your hearts and your memories. It will get better, though. I promise you it will get better.
My relationship with Ya Ya was a bit different from my cousins. He was still a constant in my life. However, when I was young, he used to run many businesses to provide for his family. During the little free time that he had, I know he tried to spend time with me and and my sister. I fondly remember our weekly Sunday night dinners over at my grandparents house. Unfortunately, we grew up before he was able to really spend a lot of time with us (cats in the cradle and all that). I do know for a fact that he loved me. He was proud of me and the life I had. He was proud of his great-grandson.
I don't think we knew each other as well as we should have, but a story that my uncle recorded for the funeral service told me a little bit more about him and a connection we share.
I've come to understand that death is a part of life. The news of Ya Ya's passing last week brought back a lot of the emotions I had when I lost my other grandpa. However, it was a bit different. My tears weren't so much for my loss. The tears were for my family. My thoughts of sadness and worry immediately went to my grandma, my aunts and uncle, but they mostly went to my cousins, sister and dad.
I've never experienced the loss of a parent. I hope to not feel that for a very long time. I couldn't begin to imagine the feeling of responsibility, loss, and pain that my dad has been going through. I could tell that he was hurting, but had to take care of all the business first. I hope in time he's able to explore those feelings fully, remember his father and start the healing process.
It's been around 20 years since the last time I lost a grandpa. It gets better, but that pain never completely goes away. I couldn't help but feel my cousins' pain through them, knowing that no words could express the sadness they were feeling. I've been there. I know what it's like.
To Jessica, Alissa, and Matt,
Your Ya Ya loved you so very much. The pain that you're feeling will get better in time. It will never ever go away, but you never want that feeling to go away, because that feeling is Ya Ya still living on in your hearts and your memories. It will get better, though. I promise you it will get better.
My relationship with Ya Ya was a bit different from my cousins. He was still a constant in my life. However, when I was young, he used to run many businesses to provide for his family. During the little free time that he had, I know he tried to spend time with me and and my sister. I fondly remember our weekly Sunday night dinners over at my grandparents house. Unfortunately, we grew up before he was able to really spend a lot of time with us (cats in the cradle and all that). I do know for a fact that he loved me. He was proud of me and the life I had. He was proud of his great-grandson.
 |
| Felix and his great-grandparents |
 |
| Me and Ya Ya |
We think back about some of the things that you and mom taught us:
Try your best, word hard, be caring, be a good father or mother, and above all be compassionate and a good person. I remember when I was younger and a man came into your store and asked from some food to feed his family. An employee wanted to tell him to leave, but you let the man explain his situation. He said that his family hadn't had much to eat, but he didn't have money to buy them food. you knew that he was sincere and not just a beggar. You asked the employee to pick out some fruits and vegetables and canned food. The employee gathered some fruit and vegetables that would soon need to be thrown out and the canned food were taken from the cart that was discounted in price because they were damaged. You quickly went over and selected some nice produce and canned food and took it to the man. The man said, "I appreciate it, but I can't take this. I don't want a hand out. Is there some work I can do around the store?" You eventually had the man sweep the floors inside and out, and when he was finished he thanked you and left. I remember going over to you and asking you why you had him sweep the floor when I just finished doing it. You said, "It was hard enough for this man to ask for help, but you don't want to make it worse by taking away his dignity."
This showed me that there is a little bit of Ya Ya in me. Maybe not directly, but through the lessons he taught my dad and then through the lessons my dad taught me. Everyday when I go to work and work hard for others that "don't want a hand out" I know that's Ya Ya coming out.
Thank you, Ya Ya for all the lessons you've taught us, how you've provided for us, and all your love and support. You will be missed. I love you.
 |
| 4 generations of Lees |
Sunday, February 5, 2012
A football story
Once upon a time there was a boy. His name was Ben. Ben liked his sports. His favorites growing up were baseball, basketball and football. Baseball was his favorite by far. He started to get annoyed every year when the NFL took attention away from his beloved baseball. Ben decided even though he liked the game of football he just didn't care that much. Out of principle he didn't watch the NFL on a regular basis.
This continued for many years. If a football game was on, Ben would watch it. The game was still good. However, he still didn't feel like watching all the time.
Then in 2011 Ben and his friend Shep decided they were going to watch football on a regular basis. Ben had tried this the year before but it didn't work. He thought about what the problem was and figured out it was because he didn't have a team to root for. Shep thought it was a great idea to root for the Washington Redskins because he had liked them when he was young.
The season started and Ben and Shep realized that they didn't show very many Redskins games on tv. They decided to watch the other teams in their division so they had a team to root against. This backfired on Ben. He fell in love with a scrappy team that were in the same division as the Redskins, the New York Giants.
Ben and Shep watched many Giants games that season, and with Shep's permission, Ben became a Giants fan. It was a few players that Ben fell in love with. Victor Cruz with his circus catches and fancy dance moves made Ben giggle with joy. Jason Pierre-Paul with his appetite for quarterbacks made Ben giddy with excitement. Jake Ballard, with the speed of a turtle and the strength of a bear would drag would be tacklers for an extra few yards, was Ben's favorite.
The Giants season wasn't looking that great, but Ben didn't care. This was his team now. He was going to root for them no matter what they did.
Then an amazing thing happened. Ben decided he was going to buy a Jake Ballard jersey to support his favorite player and his new favorite team. Once the jersey came in the mail and Ben wore it on game days, the Giants won every single game the rest of the season and made the playoffs. The playoffs were an exciting time as they usually are, but they were especially exciting for Ben. His lovable losers had made it and were playing their hearts out. Time and time again, they beat teams that should have beat them. The Giants made it to the Superbowl!
Ben couldn't believe it. His team was playing for the championship! However, they were going to play a team that again was supposed to beat them. The game was exciting. The game was stressful. It seemed that the referees wanted the other team to win! But it all didn't matter. At the end of the game, Eli Manning did what he does best and that was lead the Giants from behind in the fourth quarter of a game and win!
Ben's team won the Superbowl! He was very happy. He wrote a blog about it. And you just read it.
GO GIANTS!!!!!!!
This continued for many years. If a football game was on, Ben would watch it. The game was still good. However, he still didn't feel like watching all the time.
Then in 2011 Ben and his friend Shep decided they were going to watch football on a regular basis. Ben had tried this the year before but it didn't work. He thought about what the problem was and figured out it was because he didn't have a team to root for. Shep thought it was a great idea to root for the Washington Redskins because he had liked them when he was young.
The season started and Ben and Shep realized that they didn't show very many Redskins games on tv. They decided to watch the other teams in their division so they had a team to root against. This backfired on Ben. He fell in love with a scrappy team that were in the same division as the Redskins, the New York Giants.
Ben and Shep watched many Giants games that season, and with Shep's permission, Ben became a Giants fan. It was a few players that Ben fell in love with. Victor Cruz with his circus catches and fancy dance moves made Ben giggle with joy. Jason Pierre-Paul with his appetite for quarterbacks made Ben giddy with excitement. Jake Ballard, with the speed of a turtle and the strength of a bear would drag would be tacklers for an extra few yards, was Ben's favorite.
The Giants season wasn't looking that great, but Ben didn't care. This was his team now. He was going to root for them no matter what they did.
Then an amazing thing happened. Ben decided he was going to buy a Jake Ballard jersey to support his favorite player and his new favorite team. Once the jersey came in the mail and Ben wore it on game days, the Giants won every single game the rest of the season and made the playoffs. The playoffs were an exciting time as they usually are, but they were especially exciting for Ben. His lovable losers had made it and were playing their hearts out. Time and time again, they beat teams that should have beat them. The Giants made it to the Superbowl!
Ben couldn't believe it. His team was playing for the championship! However, they were going to play a team that again was supposed to beat them. The game was exciting. The game was stressful. It seemed that the referees wanted the other team to win! But it all didn't matter. At the end of the game, Eli Manning did what he does best and that was lead the Giants from behind in the fourth quarter of a game and win!
Ben's team won the Superbowl! He was very happy. He wrote a blog about it. And you just read it.
GO GIANTS!!!!!!!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
The season of giving
Every year around this time, I start to hear it. People talking about the "season of giving". I guess it's that time of year where we're reminded that there are people in the world that aren't as fortunate as others. Does it make you feel good to donate during the holidays?
It should. You're doing a great thing! You're sacrificing something that you have or earned to give it to someone who needs it more than you do. So many people feel great this time of year and donate so much stuff!
... so much stuff that places have to turn stuff away.
What about the other 9 months out of year?
Apparently people don't need food and coats during January through October.
I'm sure you've heard me go off about this before. People need "stuff" ALL. YEAR. ROUND. I've heard that "it's tougher during the holiday season". I'm pretty sure being hungry, cold and homeless sucks all year round. Some organizations have to turn volunteers and donations away during the holiday time. Last time I checked a year was 12 months, not only 3. Where I work we feed shelters 365 days a year. We need volunteers every weekend. When do we get them? Thanksgiving and Christmas day. Sure we get some here and there, but mostly it's during those two days and we have turn people away. I've even told people to come back the next weekend during New Years, and they don't show up.
Why does this happen? Why do people only give around the holiday times? I don't get it.
I really really encourage you and others that donate or volunteer during the holiday season to not do it this year. I guarantee there won't be a shortage of stuff. Instead save what you were going to donate this year and do it in March. Do it in June. Do it during a time when everyone else isn't doing it. That'll make it even more special. Spread that love out over the year, people. That'll make a big difference.
It should. You're doing a great thing! You're sacrificing something that you have or earned to give it to someone who needs it more than you do. So many people feel great this time of year and donate so much stuff!
... so much stuff that places have to turn stuff away.
What about the other 9 months out of year?
 |
| "annually" That means every year. |
I'm sure you've heard me go off about this before. People need "stuff" ALL. YEAR. ROUND. I've heard that "it's tougher during the holiday season". I'm pretty sure being hungry, cold and homeless sucks all year round. Some organizations have to turn volunteers and donations away during the holiday time. Last time I checked a year was 12 months, not only 3. Where I work we feed shelters 365 days a year. We need volunteers every weekend. When do we get them? Thanksgiving and Christmas day. Sure we get some here and there, but mostly it's during those two days and we have turn people away. I've even told people to come back the next weekend during New Years, and they don't show up.
Why does this happen? Why do people only give around the holiday times? I don't get it.
I really really encourage you and others that donate or volunteer during the holiday season to not do it this year. I guarantee there won't be a shortage of stuff. Instead save what you were going to donate this year and do it in March. Do it in June. Do it during a time when everyone else isn't doing it. That'll make it even more special. Spread that love out over the year, people. That'll make a big difference.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Why Dick's is better than In-N-Out
Ah, the heated debate: which is better Dick's or In-N-Out?
I've eaten at both places, multiple times, over a span of 10+ years. I've come to the conclusion that Dick's is better than In-N-Out.
Here's why (in no particular order):
Dick's Deluxe In-N-Out Double Double
Sodium - 700mg 1440mg
Hmm... interesting.
Shame on you for automatically assuming that I don't like In-N-Out. I do like it. A double double animal style is delicious. All I'm saying is give me a Dick's deluxe any day over that.
Disagree? I triple dog dare you put your argument here. I bet you won't have the double doubles to, In-N-Out lover. =P
I've eaten at both places, multiple times, over a span of 10+ years. I've come to the conclusion that Dick's is better than In-N-Out.
Here's why (in no particular order):
- I can get Dick's whenever I want. I have to go 2 states away to get In-N-Out.
- In-N-Out fries have the taste and texture of cardboard. Dick's fries are greasy and delicious.
- Dick's is cheaper.
- I can get Dick's until 2AM (only 1AM at In-N-Out)
- I have to wait forever with a bunch of snobby, pretentious, "my shit doesn't stink", ass holes to get my food at In-N-Out. It's California. Go figure.
- The grand opening of the new Dick's had over 700 people waiting at 8AM
- Those same snobby, pretentious etc. guys argue that In-N-Out is better because they have "quality ingredients" and therefore a healthier product. Check THIS out.
Dick's Deluxe In-N-Out Double Double
Calories - 540 670
Fat - 34g 41gSodium - 700mg 1440mg
Hmm... interesting.
Shame on you for automatically assuming that I don't like In-N-Out. I do like it. A double double animal style is delicious. All I'm saying is give me a Dick's deluxe any day over that.
Disagree? I triple dog dare you put your argument here. I bet you won't have the double doubles to, In-N-Out lover. =P
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Things I'll miss while on vacation
I'm on vacation for the next couple of weeks. Here are a few things I'll miss from work.
 |
| Is the Jap is in this salad organic? |
 |
| I LOVE plums! |
 |
Oh, they're actually beets. |
Students make me smile so much. I hope to get more pictures of this kind of stuff up in the future.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
It's been awhile
Hey folks, it's been awhile, I know. I've been busy and to be honest there hasn't been stuff for me to rant about. I woke up Sunday morning talking to a dear friend, and this just happened to pop into my head. It made me smile and I hope it does the same for you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)