X-men First Class part 2

Professor Xavier and Magneto (Lehnsherr) have one of the most interesting relationships in all of fiction (in my opinion). You have two men on opposite views of an issue, fighting violently about it and are true trusted friends. You would think their origin story would be accurate in a movie. You would be wrong and I would be disappointed.

I knew going into the movie that characters would be messed up. I knew the original X-men weren't going to be in the movie. I figured that they would at least make the meeting, building of a relationship and strong friendship between Xavier and Magneto up to the standards that it deserves.

In the comics Xavier and Lehnsherr meet in a Holocaust survivor clinic in Israel where Lehnsherr is a volunteer and Xavier is visiting a friend. They become fast friends debating on what would happen to humanity if a "superior" race of human were to emerge. They have different views where Xavier has faith in humanity while Lehnsherr was a Holocaust survivor and thinks humanity would try and oppress this "hypothetical" minority group. They then end up revealing that they're both mutants in a fight and separating ways.
The movie shows Xavier saving Lehnsherr as Lehnsherr tries to catch Sebastian Shaw. They then start to locate mutants in the world to train and help them stop Shaw... in a montage. Did they really just develop the relationship between two of the most powerful mutants, the relationship that created the basis of 4 movies and countless comics in a fucking MONTAGE?!

The cherry to top this shit sundae is how they get Xavier to lose the use of his legs. The now "Magneto" wants to kill the humans with the missiles they have just fired upon them. Xavier disagrees. During the "struggle" Magneto deflects a bullet and it hits Xavier in the spine paralyzing him.

Horse shit.

In a much less dramatic fashion, Xavier in (comic book) fact had his legs crushed by a giant rock during a fight with an alien.

I get why the changes were made. I understand they have to make it accessable to a wider audience. I'm just not ok with it, because I know it so well.

Good things about this movie (this is much shorter):

The acting was great. Michael Fassbender's portrayal of  Magento was excellent. I also really liked Jennifer Lawrence. I'm waiting to see how she does in the upcoming Hunger Games movie(s). The best part was the history tie-in with the plot. Great setting for a movie.

The movie was good. If you're a comic book fan and pretend this is just a rip off of your beloved X-men then you'll like it a lot. If you just like summer action movies, you'll love it. I'll have to watch it again in a few months. I'm sure I'll like it then.

X-men First Class

I have a feeling this blog will be a two parter, because I'm about to go the fuck off.

I've been a big fan of the X-men since I was a kid. I watched the show, I read the comics, I've researched a lot of back story of things I couldn't get a hold of to read. I always wanted a live action movie growing up and I finally got it in 2000. I left the theater that day so angry. I've never felt so disappointed leaving a movie since Masters of the Universe in 1987. Everything was wrong. Characters were wrong. Timeline was wrong. Powers were wrong. My inner fan boy was crushed that day and then was crushed with two more sequels and a Wolverine Origins movie. However, after every movie came out. I waited awhile (6 months or more) to watch the movie again. Only then was I able to get over my fan boy-ness and see the movies as stand alone, non-cannon versions of the characters I loved. I like all of these movies now. In fact I think they're very good movies.

I heard a couple of years ago, they were going to do a X-men origin story movie and got excited. I thought, "Reboot! Awesome, I can get what I always wanted!" Then movie stills started and trailers started to emerge. Alright. I'm on board. This sounds awesome. This trailer is starting to look awesome... and wtf is Mystique doing there? Banshee? Is that supposed to be Havok?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

While the movie looked awesome, I knew this wasn't going to end well and I thought if I went into the movie knowing this was going to be another inaccurate X-men movie I'd be ok. I was wrong.

Premise: A young Charles Xavier meets a young Erik Lensherr they become friends. Xavier creates a school for mutants. They're involved with the Cuban missile crisis in the 60's.

Before I go off, let me say that the movie was good.

Here we go. The original X-men line up was made up of Cyclops, Marvel Girl (Jean Grey), Iceman, Beast and Angel. Beast was the only one who made the cut apparently. The rest of the new line up doesn't make any sense. They were all X-men at some point but no way were they the first class.

First is Banshee. He's from Ireland. No accent wtf?

Havok is Cyclops' younger brother. Time traveler maybe?

Mystique was originally a villain in Ms. Marvel. She then turned into a prominant X-men villain later. Rogue's and Nightcrawler's mom? Wtf you ask? Yeah the other movies are screwed up. Xavier's adopted sister? Really?

Darwin made his comic debut in 2006 while Angel (bug chick) made her comic debut in 2001. How did they choose these characters?! Penny Arcade summed it up really well.

The bad guys. The Hellfire Club didn't make it's debut until 1980. Sebastian Shaw and Emma Frost were the only two characters in the movie who were even apart of this group. Riptide and Azazel had nothing to do with the Hellfire Club.

While we're on the subject of fucking up characters, let's talk about Moira MacTaggert. In the movie she's portrayed as a CIA Agent. She's a very important character in the comics as a SCOTTISH GENETICIST and good friend/lover to Xavier. She's an important character and I'm so pissed they messed this up. This was one of the most unforgiving fuck ups for me.

I'm just getting started folks. Tomorrow I'll get into the reall messed up parts: Xavier and Magento. You would think the two main characters would be done some origin justice. Wrong.

Thor

Thor. God of Thunder. Summer movie blockbuster. Quick review.
Wasn't expecting a lot from Thor. As a comic book fan I've read only a couple of Thor comics. Why? Cause they're kind of boring. They're pretty mindless entertainment with little substance behind their characters. There's some action. Comic over.

The movie was pretty much the same...

... and that's what made it a really fun summer movie. The guys that made this movies took a lot of liberty with Thor comic book lore, which I think made the movie better. I really won't get into them because I'm not a Thor fan boy so it makes little difference for me. Though I'll give you one quick one... the giant gatekeeper guy? Not black.

There was fun action and great effects. Sir Anthony Hopkins made for a great Odin. And who doesn't like to watch Natalie Portman? She's adorable! (I sat through that Black Swan horse shit just because she's cute).

If you haven't seen it I'd wait for it to come out on blu-ray. It's a fun character setup for the Avengers movie next summer.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

Christi and I didn't watch the first half in the theater, because we hate that "to be continued" shit. We decided to do a Harry Potter marathon this last week and then watch the last one over the weekend. I'd like to say that was a lot of Harry Potter to watch and at some points I wanted to kill myself.

Quick review.

I've read all the books and I'm a big fan. All the past movies were fun but I'll have to be cliche and say that the books are way better (as they usually are). HP7.1 pissed me off. Why? Mainly because Harry and Hermione spent a good 40 minutes not doing a damn thing and then Ron came back and they did nothing again for another 10 minutes. I watched HP7.1 RIGHT before HP7.2 and I think it left a bad taste in my mouth. I mean they just stretched part one out JUST to split the movie into two so they could make a shit ton more money. I get that, but damn give me something at least!

Sorry.

HP7.2 didn't disappoint. You got what you got from the other Harry Potter movies. You got action, little substance, and a slight acting improvement from the prior movie. And the ghost chick at the end was hot! Necrophilia? Yes please. Basically it's a great summer movie. If you have 2 hours to spare and you've watched the others, do it. It's fun.

Captain America

If you know me at all, you know I'm a nerd (shocking). If you know me a little better you know that I've been looking forward to the Captain America movie for years now. Well it just came out this weekend and I saw it opening night. This isn't really going to be a review, but more of a commentary on how people are reviewing this movie.

The movie has been getting mixed reviews from movie critics and people I know. Sure, I'm very bias because I love Captain America. I don't have as much knowledge about Cap like I do say the X-men (X-men movies rant inevitable), but I've read a share of the comics and I'm a big fan. I thought about it and it really makes a difference if you're a fan of Cap or not prior to seeing the movie.

Here are some negative specific things I've heard/read about movie (from people that can actually discuss something instead of just saying "it's awesome" or "it sucks") and why those things don't matter to a Cap fan (paraphrased).

Complaint: "Cap has lame powers"
Why this is a stupid complaint: DUH! Cap doesn't have powers. That's what makes him awesome. He is a super hero that has no powers. The super soldier serum gave him peak human abilities. He's just a regular dude who can kick your ass the old fashioned way.

Complaint: "The movie is cheesy"
Why this is a stupid complaint: Cap IS cheesy! That's why I love him. He a freakin' boy scout. He always does what he thinks is right. He's always the underdog. He says cheesy things. He represents the fighting spirit of America (not the country as a lot of people think). It's called a character for a reason people.

Complaint: "Didn't have a decent plot" (nod to my bud Tony)
Why this is a stupid complaint: Comic book movie. Saving the world is the plot. Give me a comic book movie about NOT good versus evil. Come on.

I think you get the point.

If you're not a fan of Captain America before you see the movie, you might be disappointed. You may expect him to have super powers and be cool and stuff. That's not going to happen.

Fans of Cap will love this movie because it's it captured the essence of Steve Rogers and the comic books. It's a story about the man, his character, and what he does because it's what's right. Is that cheesy? Yes. Is he lame? Absolutely. He's the always underdog that has no real super powers and fights in a "world" against evil with more power than he does, but he still fights because it's the right thing to do. This is why I love him and the movie that I think portrayed that very well.

Remember the time Nelson got stuck in a laundry basket?

Sound up? Good.

False advertising

Christi and I saw this sign on our way home the other day.

On occasion, Christi and I like to hit garage sales to see if we can find some cool stuff that people don't want anymore. So we were pretty excited when we saw this and decided to spend our Sunday morning to check this out.

After driving for awhile.. following similar signs. This is what we found.

That's right. It was one garage sale that had nothing in it. It was pretty disappointing, but amusing at the same time. Good thing we got coffee and a doughnut first. At least the trip wasn't a total wash. Maple glazed cinammon roll? Pretty nom.

Leave your kids at home

I saw this article on yahoo the other day and it made me happy. If you're too lazy to click the link, it's basically talking about a restaurant close to Pittsburg that has banned children under the age of 6.

I love this idea. I hope it becomes the trend. Don't get me wrong, I love kids. If you know me at all you'd know this. It's not the kids fault here. What I can't stand are parents that can't control their kids and take them out in public. It's ridiculous to see parents have an arguement with a misbehaving child! Tell your kid to shut the hell up or leave. It's pretty simple to me. Why can't you take your kid and leave? I don't care if you wanted to go out. Teach your kids some manners first. Get someone to watch your kid that can't behave. Remember when you had a kid and that should be your first priority now? Man people piss me off.

Then there are the parents who leave the parenting to some distraction instead. Have we become that lazy as a society where we can't get our own kids to behave without a cell phone, ipad, gameboy to keep them occupied? I for sure don't want to be going to have a nice dinner where the kids at the table next to me are making "bloop bloop" noise with whatever electronic device they've been spoiled with.

It drives me insane.  I remember being little and my parents making sure that my sister and I were behaved, sat still and quiet at the table with no form of entertainment and we just did it. Why can't parents do that now? If I even thought about misbehaving in public, I would've had consequences.

I hope this catches on and becomes a trend. Not just for the sake of customers, but for the sake of the kids who's lazy ass parents can't teach them to shut up when they should. Leave your kids at home if you don't feel like doing something about your kid. Better yet, don't have anymore kids and give the one you have up for adoption.

Theater etiquette

Theater etiquette. I know there are some dos and don'ts. I figured somethings were pretty obvious. I was wrong. Over the past few years I've learned that some things are ok to do, because I've seen fellow audience members (who obviously go to more theather than I do) do them.

Here's a list of things I've seen or expereinced first hand by/from other theater patrons. I don't go to a lot of shows, so I'm assuming these things are ok to do.

1. Bringing a newborn baby to a show. When the kid starts crying you can just pass it down the row to a family member until one of them gets the kid to stop.
2. Whipping out your tit and breast feeding said newborn baby, then passing it up and down the row.
3. Singing a long very loudly to the songs that you know from the show.
4. Giving a standing ovation to a show that sucked
5. Wearing a short skirt, but not crossing your legs while you're sitting, so anyone that happens to turn around gets a great view of your grooming habits.
6. Using your phone, to take video and audio.
7. Allowing your child to fall out of their seat and landing in the row onto the person's head in front of them. Not once, not twice, but three times.
8. Coughing and spitting on the patron next to you throughout the show, but oddly enough not during intermission.
9. Making out.
10. Pulling out a giant burrito wrapped in tin foil and eating half of it only to eat the other half during the second act.

Going to the theater is fun!

Crochet

If you know my wife Christi at all, you know that she's a creative juggernaut. One of her favorite things to make for people are blankets, pot holder, and other things by crocheting them. If you don't know, crochet is a way of making fabric from yarn, string or whatever with a hook. It's like the more well known knitting, but with only one "stick" and the process is totally different... but there's yarn involved.
Like I was saying, Christi makes things by crocheting them. You can go here to see a sample of her work.

Impressive right?

Christi has made things for many people in the past and it ends up being from "both of us" even though I didn't do a damn thing except maybe help wind the yarn up into a ball. I've felt bad because I haven't really been able to contribute to the awesome hand made presents. My good friends Dave and Mary are expecting their first kid. The baby shower was held over the weekend so naturally a couple of weeks ago, Christi started on the kids blanket.

Dave and Mary are very special friends and I wanted to help somehow. I love them so much that I learned how to crochet. That's right. Crochet.

I started with this...

I said "fuck" a lot trying to learn that little bit. My hand cramped up. I kept messing it up. I spent a good half an hour on one part and Christi pulled it all apart because I didn't do it right. It was hell.

Then I got good at it.

Look! I'm going so fast, it's blurry!

Ended up with this. My part of the blanket.

And then when Christi put it all together...

I only did one of those stripes. I couldn't imagine doing the whole thing.

I'm kind of proud of myself! (it's like I'm taking a picture of some food I cooked and posting it huh?!)

Christi hates me a little because she said I did so well for my first time. I don't know that I'll crochet again. I definitely have a new appreciation for it though. It's not easy. I just hope the unborn kid likes that blanket. He'll probably just puke or poop on it.

The seasons

Summer was here the last few days. It was kind of nice. It didn't get too hot. I got to sit outside and have a beer and just sit in the sun. Fired up the grill and had some burgers too.

Then yesterday the clouds came in. It rained. It was kind of cold.

I LOVED IT.

Fall has rain. Rain is awesome.
Fall smells way better than summer does.
Fall colors are way better than summer colors.
Fall has Halloween.
Fall brings pumpkins.
Fall means we get to use the fireplace.
Fall means heavy blankets.
Fall isn't hot.

What do you like about fall?

Suck it summer. Fall is better.

I have gas...

... natural gas that is. Which means...

NEW STOVE!!!

After almost 4 years of living in this house, we finally got a gas stove. Which also means...

New cookware!!! Well technically they were a wedding gift... 3 years ago... I just couldn't use them on the crappy stove that came with the house. It just wouldn't be right.

Ooooo shiny. Each pan came with an "inspected by" tag with a person's name on it. Christi and I debated whether or not they were actual people.

So that's it for today. New stove, new pans, I have gas.

Parents, do your kids a favor...

Alright, before I go into this rant we need to get a few things clear.

I know I don't have kids of my own. I know I don't understand "how difficult" they can be until I have my own. This is my opinion. Let's proceed.

Monday was the 4th of July. I spend apart of the day at my parents annual 4th of July BBQ. At this party were a bunch of my younger cousins one of which is a toddler. His mom asked me to watch him for a minute so she could go do something. Sitting in front of me was a plate full of raw vegetables that I had munching on to get away from the normal chips, hotdogs, potato salad etc. (I did eat my grandma's fried chicken though cause duh). As he sat on my lap he mentioned that he wanted something to eat. Naturally, being the lazy ass that I am, I offered him the plate of vegetables.

He looked at me very confused. I had seen him most of the time earlier in the day gnawing on a chicken wing. I asked him if he wanted to munch on these. He wasn't sure what some of them were. After about 10 minutes. I got him to try 3 different colors of bell peppers and cherry tomatoes. Guess what? He freakin' loved them (not a fan of the carrots but 4/5 isn't bad)! As his mom came back and tried to put on his shoes he kept running back to the plate for more veggies. In shock she announced to the people around "Oh my gosh! You're eating tomatoes? Ben got him to eat what else?!" Once he got his shoes on and before he left, he looked at me and asked me if he could take the rest of the vegetables home so he could eat them later. Parents, do me a favor...

Teach your kids about good healthy foods and give them a variety for God's sake!

I don't care how "hard it is" to get your kids to eat other things than the stuff they're "used to". Start them out young. Feed them raw fruits and vegetables as often as you can. When they're older make them eat new things. They'll eat if they're hungry enough they'll eat it.. If they refuse to eat it, oh well. A kid missing a meal isn't going to hurt them. I remember when I was a kid. If I didn't like what my mom made for dinner, I either ate it or I didn't eat.

I notice that kids seem to be given a lot more say in their own upbringing these days. What ever happend to "do what I tell you to do". I'm not saying that kids shouldn't be able to make any decisions. Just not decisions they're not mature enough to make themselves. For example... it bugs me when I hear parents ask their kid open ended questions like, "what do you want to eat?" and then feel bad when they tell the kid, "no you can't have chocolate cake... no... n... fine." What the hell?! (sure this is an exaggeration, but you get my point) Sorry, I got a bit side tracked. I'll save that for another time when parents piss me off.

Again, I know I don't have kids of my own. I know I don't understand "how difficult" they can be until I have my own. You have a kid. That's your first priority and it's your responsibility for its eating habits. When I have a kid, I'll be damn sure to remember that and take full responsibility for my kids healthy eating habits.

Please expose your kids to different kind of foods. Stop feeding your kids hot dogs for dinner all the time. I don't care if it's the stupid Gerber shit that's not really a hot dog. Make your kid some real food. It took me less than 15 minutes to get my cousin to try and like a few new vegetables. Do a favor for your kid ok?

Grey's Anatomy

Netflix, oh netflix, how you are awesome on so many levels. You make it so I can watch all sorts of movies I want to, whenever I want to with your "instant watch". I love how we can watch things that bring me back to childhood, like Short Circuit and Ghostbusters, or new favorites like Firefly and The Boondock Saints! But then you have to go fuck up our relationship and allow Christi to watch shows like...

...Grey's Anatomy.

I do not like this show. It's been playing at the house for a few weeks now because you can get all the seasons on instant watch. I hear it in the background and sometimes get sucked in because I'm confused on who's doing who at this point and who's butt hurt about what. Please understand that I don't want to know what's going on, but since it's on in the background and Christi watches it while I'm going to sleep, I've just absorbed the information. I can't help it.

I think the whole idea of the show was taking a "who's doing who" kind of show and just throwing it into a hospital setting under the guise of "quality drama". It seems that 80% of the show is showing medical traumas that have nothing to do with anything and the last 20% is spent on moving "plot line" and "character development". They seem like horrible people... here's what I've learned. **SPOILERS**

This is Merideth Grey -

I've gathered the show is supposed to be about her cause her name is in the title of the show. Which is weird because I don't seem to see her much. She's a surgeon. She's a super whore. She likes to break up marriages I think.

This is some Asian broad. I think her name is something like Chin, Chang, or Lee =/

She's seems to be less whorish cause she only slept with like one of her bosses.

This is Izzie -

She's fucking crazy. She sees dead people. They totally ripped that off of Sixth Sense. Also a whore.

Then there are THESE two douche bags.

These are the guys for the girls to do... and because there are too many damn chicks in that hospital. Man whores.

Token Black... look out she's got "attitude"! Surprisingly not a whore!

Looks a dude, but is really a whiney girl. Tranny whore.

Married that "dude" above then turned into a lesbian. Lesbian whore.

Then there's "Lick"

Christi and I call her "Lick", because she's hot... and I'd like to lick her (not anywhere specific, sickos). Hot whore.

It's a good thing they work in a hospital because all they have all the medication they'd need to clear up any VD they got from each other.

To recap a typical episode:
Someone sleeps someone, someone gets mad about it, 45 mintes of "medical trauma", people die, a stupid songs plays with a voice over monologue about something profound they learned or some shit like that.

Quality tv. Thanks a lot ABC. Thanks to the people of Netflix for making it more accessible for my wife.

Foodies

You were waiting for it, and here it is. My first angry post.

When I meet people, I try and not throw out there right away that I cook and teach cooking for a living. Because bad things can happen. It brings out this monster in them... it brings out the foody in them.
In the last 10+ years Food Network and celebrity chefs have made cooking "cool". Thus creating the know-it-all, pretentious, irritating as fuck, "foody wannabe". You know who I'm talking about. The douche in the office that went to Canalis just because he could afford it, or the lady that had a cooking/wine pairing party.
Social networking sites, blogs, youtube, etc. have made it even worse. Now these idiots can take pictures of the stupid food they're so proud of, or blog their restaurant reviews. Anyone can do it... and this is my point.

Stop trying to sound cool because you "experienced a wonderful onion flan" over the weekend. Onion flan huh? Do you know what onion flan is? It's onion pudding. It's something that we come up with that costs us 15cents to make and that we can charge you 15 dollars to eat.

Don't try and describe a dish's flavor "savory" (unless you're actually talking about the herb)  or has "Asian flavors" (Asia is the biggest fucking continent on the planet with a shit-ton of different countries which all have different flavors and cooking methods! Do you think Indian food and Korean food taste the same? Dumbass.) . Do you know how dumb you sound? It's like if I were to describe a car. "Yeah, it's black, and it has four wheels. The engine is BIG. It has some horse power. It's an import."

Know what you're talking about. Don't pretend to know what you're talking about. More importantly I don't think most people care what you cooked for dinner and damn well really don't care to see a picture of it. "You made salmon last night?! AND you put it on a plate?! You took a picture?! Wow, there it is... a piece of salmon on a plate. Way to go." If I ever take a picture of a plate it's only so I have the memory of how to do it (or how awful it was, which I've done a few times for my entertainment). I won't post it to show everyone. Food has been around forever. Cooking has been around just about as long as food has. It's nothing new. It's like if I took a picture of the shit I took over the weekend like it was something special.

Look, don't get me wrong. I love that some people are proud what they've accomplished. That's great! Keep cooking! It's the people pretend they know something when they don't. More so I hate the people that think they're super cool because they cooked something and put it on a plate. Learn about food. Learn what you're talking about. Do it because you actually like it and not just try to impress people by it. Anyone can do it. It's not that hard. Why do you think I can do it?

I think it irritates me not because I do this for a living and people are wrong. A lot. I think it's more because people seem to be bragging about what they cooked, showing they can afford to go to the most expensive restaurants, or just pretending to have more knowledge than they do. People do it with other things too (film, music, beer, video games)... and it pisses me off.

It's just food, people. Sure there's an art to it. Sure you can be creative. Sure it can feed your soul and build wonderful memories. But remember it's just there to nourish your body and... it's just going to be shit tomorrow.